42 minutes ago
14,462 notes

famousest:

started from the closet now were queer

1 hour ago
79,655 notes
2 hours ago
73,504 notes
Only a bad musician blames their instument
- My music teacher, when I said I couldn’t play because my recorder was broken. It was literally in two pieces. (via pandyssian)
3 hours ago
227,671 notes

misha-dmitri-t-krushnic-collins:

pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.

Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

this woukd have made me so happy

3 hours ago
35,460 notes

hikari-the-human:

my avocado don’t

4 hours ago
105,889 notes

shubbabang:

funny story my 5th grade elementary school teacher was the one who figured out i had crazy bad adhd

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i hope she’s doing well

5 hours ago
147,937 notes

officialdaddyegbert:

davvvd:

-annoying:

the “i’m not afraid to verbally assault a middle schooler if they look at my kid the wrong way” haircut

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I thought this was the “I would like to speak with a manager” haircut

it’s both.

6 hours ago
0 notes

don’t wake me up when it’s over

6 hours ago
10,407 notes

cagedlions:

Black people and the police. Watch this classic Chappelle stand-up here. [X]

6 hours ago
309,287 notes
I’ve always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be.
- Dita Von Teese (via priscellastef)